Parents and child agree on respecting a certain agreement

1. Democratic relationships: rights and performance of duties, an explanation of the requirements. Actually it looks like the following. Parents and child agree on respecting a certain agreement. Clearly assign duties and determine the degree of “punishment” if the agreement is not met. We must not forget that the implementation of the provisions of the agreement are complied with by all parties on an equal footing. A lot of these families based on trust and respect for the opinions of each. This style of relationship is complicated, requiring a lot of patience. But he further does not alienate children from their parents. And allows lot to decide not prejudice to the merits of each other, without offending any of the members of the family.

2. Authoritarian style: tight control, causes of requirements of parents are not explained (like, “baby, I said so.”). The teenager often resists this style of relationship. This can manifest itself in 2 lines of conduct:

– Insubordination and fighting (if the teenager belongs to a strong type). And then a sleepless night is guaranteed. And permanently damaged the relationship too.

– A lack of confidence, immaturity and dependency (if the child belongs to the weaker type). This is also not very great. Because this option often grow infantile children. Not priuchavshee to independence and responsibility for their actions, the child will not be able to solve their own problems. And another “strong” – will often be able to subdue such a child.

3. Tight control with a lack of emotion. Some parents believe that the key to parenting is just to keep track of progress and contact with the child. When you bring this attitude to “Lessons made? Well and well done. Sit down with something and I do not bother”. The child feels abandoned and not needed. The lack of heat develops mistrust, often rigidity (because the child often does not know what it means to love, to sympathize, to feel sorry). The need for love, he compensates for by communicating with their peers (and socializing in large volume). Can start to get involved in drugs, as a means of “oblivion” from the problems. Often, these children begin to make offenses, petty theft. In this way, they are subconsciously trying to attract attention to themselves and their problems.

4. The lack of control with a lack of emotional relationships. These relationships give the feeling of permissiveness, because there is no full responsibility for the child. Parents only think about themselves (their business), and often in such families the child is just an irritant. And it feels unnecessary and unloved. This style of relationship leads to the fact that badly in need of parents (in support) the teenager begins to seek solace in other people. Such children often run away from home, skipping class. They become dependent on others. They can exploit not with the best of intentions. Girls can start looking for “adventure” on side, because the “greedy” sweet words. And often become sexual victims of men (or other older Teens), succumbed to “good” attitude on his part. Boys can start to establish itself at the expense of the weak and to be cruel.

5. Hyper strong emotional contact. Such parents do not give yourself to develop to your children. They think for them, decide what to do. And it all served as the “It’s all for your own good”. Don’t let go for a moment. And if that’s not their rules – reach for the heart and accuse their children of callousness. Over time, the kids raised in this style, there are difficulties in communication. They remain infantile “minicinema” sons/daughters.

6. High expectations of parents. In this style of relationship the parents have a lot of demands and claims to the child, recording in many sections. And in General too are trying to diversify of the child. At the same time the child is not very taken into account. English, music, tennis, chess, swimming, dancing – this is an incomplete list of wishes that parents must know the child. And that’s not counting the fact that he must study hard, to help parents around the house (and the country). Parents with half of this list don’t know how, learn more on international adoption at adoption agencies blog. But it did not bother them. The child becomes a “carrier” of life plans parents. A child’s success you can brag about it (parents amuse their vanity, “they say, here’s my what!”). And each miss is accompanied by claims such as: “Well, as always! Even this could not do. Here I am in your age….” (this is followed by memories of “Superman” abilities of both parents). With this parenting style in adolescents is formed anxiety, fears, and life the motive of fear of failure and avoiding failure provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.

Each style has its advantages and disadvantages. Each family is trying to develop their own style. Importantly, this relationship brought You joy and sense of comfort to all Your family members.

3 thoughts on “Parents and child agree on respecting a certain agreement

  1. The question of how to adapt to intense life changes and remain Autonomous, independent, whole person in one way or another arises before every person. In different periods of life this theme is leading, the secondary in a number of other human problems. The peculiarity of its sound in adolescence is determined by the many changes that a girl or a boy are not always ready, but before the need for which they are supplied. In scientific studies, performed in different research paradigms, the tasks of development personality at this age are formulated in taken to this or that trend concepts, with the General meaning of these tasks is almost the same. This is the restructuring of Ego and the formation of a stable, integrated patterns of nature; the affirmation of heterosexual identity; weakening of attachment to parents.
    Adolescents 12-13 years, with few exceptions, all belong to early teenage or even preteen age, which is characterized by inadequate functioning of the previously adopted defenses and adaptive strategies. At this age marks the beginning of an intense bodily changes, accompanied by ambivalent emotional reactions. May be the so-called “growth of mobility of affect” and “mood swings” [9], which manifests itself either in the externalization of emotions, excessive expressiveness, either in the internalization of emotions and isolation.
    Presumably the differences between the subgroups obtained in our study reflect the known heterochronic pattern puberty of boys and girls, because the last sexual maturity occurs at two years earlier than in the first. It was shown that for girls (compared with boys) characterized by decreased communicative reactions and sustainability. They, according to our recent research, differ not only from the boys-peers, but also from the girls of 16-18 years “and seem to be as emotional and confident, but more closed, unstable, overly dominant and less sociable” [11, p. 93].
    The differences between boys and girls in the ratio of the indices of adaptation and strategies of self-affirmation can also be a consequence of irregularly occurring puberty of adolescents, but also the result of a discrepancy between men’s and women’s lines in the development of identity.
    The girls were discovered connection between all three strategies of self-affirmation and individual rates of adaptation. A constructive strategy of self-affirmation associated with confidence, self-esteem, and controlling behavior and internal processes. An uncertain strategy is negatively associated with control, and actualized in those situations where behavior regulation is either not feasible (extreme cases) or not important (supervised by another, more powerful figure – the parents or the opposite sex). Dominant strategy associative associated with the overconfidence, Ego strength, and can be considered as an adaptive response in a situation of absolute leadership of the girl. The indicators of “openness to experience” and “stability” have no significant relations with the approval of the I since, the study revealed that they are at the most mobility in the period of transition from childhood to adolescence.
    The boys were identified less closely with adaptive assertion that, in our opinion, due to the differences in the intensity of puberty boys and girls and the peculiarities of the formation of the male identity. Stability and sociability of boys indicate a reduced level of internal conflicts and tensions due to delay of puberty this adolescent subgroup compared with the subgroup of girls. The presence of negative relations with constructive self-assertion indicators of openness to experience, and positive connections of the same indicator with uncertain strategy illustrate our assumption about the specificity of the male path of development, whose goal is the development of an Autonomous, independent Ego. The lack of a dominant strategy of self-affirmation with indicators of adaptability of the boy due to the fact that this way of self-affirmation can be both positive and negative.
    In General we can say that the observed relation between strategies of affirmation and such terms of adaptability as “openness to experience”, “control” and “confidence”. Correlations of indicators of stability and interpersonal skills with the strategies of self identity is not revealed, and the absence of these ties with repeated testing of the sample may serve as the basis for the conclusion about the significance of the level of sociability and stability of the person for approval in society.

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  2. The combination of the above criteria, indicators and levels of formation of self-concept of managers in the management activities covers General structures and individual-typological regularities of this process.
    Summarizing the above material, we will formulate the conclusions.
    1. Ratio, features and dependence of criteria, indicators and levels of formation process of empirical self-concept in the management activities of managers due to the interconnection, wholeness and interdependence of the triad of the process – the content of self-concept, the results of management activities and way of life.
    2. The selected integral (evaluate socio-psychological characteristics, integrating the content of the nuclear components of self-concept, functional components of management activities, situations, and life events), private (to provide qualitative and quantitative characterization of the content of self-concept, management activities, situations, and life events separately) and a single (apply to assessment of individual aspects of components of structures of self-concept of managerial activity and life events) criteria for the formation of empirical self-concept in system management activities.
    3. Criteria analysis megabytes relations were the direction, sign, temporary modality influences and their personal affiliation, in which are defined: causal and purposeful, positive and negative, implemented, actual or potential, intrapersonal, interpersonal and transpersonal communication.
    4. Established indicators of the formation of empirical self-concept in the management activities of managers in relationship, integrity and interaction:
    – the content of self-concept (the results of socio-psychological content of its structure, the social role of position and experience, the style of interpersonal relations, adequacy of construction, development and implementation of self-concept needs of society, the capacity of the head; power, the development of methods and consistency of requirements in power, in personal control over events and people, achievement and affiliation; verbal and non-verbal signs of confidence);
    – management activity (the final product, the professionalism, intensity and competence; the ways of implementing the functional components of managerial activity, their stability during change and tough trading conditions; the assessment of the style of decision making and its implementation at the country level or region, depending on the status of the head; the outcome of the management of contradictions; the authority, actions);
    – the course of life and events (ways to resolve life’s contradictions, the sequence of achieving the objectives, realisation and satisfaction with life).
    5. In the content of self-concept identified the levels of its formation: 1) garmonichnyi (in the structure of self-concept connection, weak or absent relationship with the world is unstable, there is oversimplification in understanding themselves and others, themselves in the eyes of others); 2) disharmonious (the content structure of self-concept is characterized by the existence of a relationship, but she has expressed either contradictory, or is characterized by a dominance of certain features and qualities, therefore the range of relations with the outside world ranges from active to passive); 3) mixed (a combination of disharmonious characteristics and optimum levels); 4) optimal (structural links of self-concept stable, there is no dominance of certain components, the equilibrium relations to itself and the outside world, there is an aspiration to self-realization); 5) harmonious (in the structure of self-concept and expressed sustainable communication, a dialogical model of relations with the world, self-realization through various ways, a manifestation of the need for self-improvement).
    6. In management activity levels: 1) non-productive (no achievement of objectives); 2) reproductive ( achievement of objectives through the implementation of the prevailing set of technologies; the head is able to demand from others what he knows himself); 3) mixed (a combination of reproductive and productive ways of achieving the goals of the activity; the head is able to adapt its requirements to staff characteristics and conditions); 4) productive (high degree of achievement of the purpose of the activity; the head possesses the strategies to develop staff knowledge, skills and attitudes for individual tasks management); 5) creative (the original goal of work with a high degree of novelty, to overcome the “barrier of past experience”; the leader owns the strategies for encouraging staff to self-education, self-organization and self-control in the new environment).
    7. The life path has the following levels: 1) unsatisfactory (dissatisfaction with life, inability to resolve contradictions in life, the lack of completed goals, the experience of futility); 2) mixed (a combination of individual quality characteristics of satisfactory and unsatisfactory levels); 3) satisfactory (life satisfaction, various ways of resolving life’s contradictions, consistent achievement of objectives, a sense of perspective).
    8. Presents theoretical and empirical grounds correlations of characteristics and dependencies of the integral, private and individual criteria, a set of indicators and levels of formation process of empirical self-concept in the system of management activities allow you to structure General patterns of building, development and implementation of the self-concept of leaders, to focus on its individual psychological characteristics.
    9. A set of criteria, indicators and levels of formation process of empirical self-concept of leaders in management embraces the natural dynamics of the content of self-concept in time, the changing phases and stages of its formation, as well as naturally the number of the operations of composition and qualitative transformation of the nuclear components of self-concept and functional components of management activity.

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  3. The process of self-understanding leads to change beliefs about yourself, through the formation issues, challenges and solutions the correlation of new knowledge with a certain system of values. The occurrence of “life” tasks and tasks to determine their capabilities.
    Solving “real life” task, a person defines and develops quality, characterizing and potentially associated with its “true” existence. There is no need to emphasize that problem solving is an essential aspect in the education of the sense of knowledge of themselves, therefore self-understanding.
    Self-understanding as process is manifested in its continuous movement from one knowledge to another knowledge, in the formation of individual situational and vague images, vague ideas to a more or less stable concept about oneself. According to the researchers, self-understanding, functions as a process of building and correcting the image of “I” (the consciousness content content, connecting the person with other people and his life). Knowledge about yourself a person receives through the analysis of situations in which it appears, their classification. The attitude of an individual towards others and the attitude of society to personality in the situation of consent, obstacles, conflict, crisis assist organization of thinking about oneself, the comprehension of their inner self. Using estimates and the values of other people included in the relationship of the individual, the subject acquires its place, the place of self in society. Accept or not as described and is experiencing itself as a carrier of social relations, a kind of social object, for some internal structure built of the cognitive elements of self-understanding, what are and what nature are the starting point of social self-understanding, i.e., still inclusion in social groups (identification with the social group of different types), how they are represented in the self-understanding – all this is of personal value.
    The content of self-understanding, in particular, is not only the actual achievements of a person’s past, but also an awareness of opportunities (“I’m real”) and what she would like to become (“I am perfect”). “I’m real” – settings related to how the individual perceives their actual abilities, roles, your current status, i.e., his sense of who he really is. “Ideal self” – the attitudes associated with the representation of the individual about how he would like to become. The desired values of the “ideal I” (the formation of which the individual is committed) identify near and far targets in the regulation of the individual; the distinction between the “ideal I” and the “real I” can provide the necessary source of motivation to achieve the desired (in this case we can speak about the organization and the willingness to self-understanding).
    “Perfect I” is a kind of ideas that reflects the aspirations of the individual. As shown by K. Horney (1950), a large difference between “real” and “ideal self” often leads to depression due to the unattainability of the ideal. G. W. Allport (1961) believed that the “ideal I” reflects the goals that the individual associates with his future. Attracting qualities of the “ideal I” denote close and long-term goals of the individual, and the distinction between “ideal” and “real Me” provides necessary to achieve the purposes of prerequisites.

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