To prove parental authority permanent link

Probably just uncomfortable in the family before children to prove parental authority permanent link to public authority, requiring proper upbringing of the child. Education of children begins with the age when no logical proof and the presentation of public rights impossible, and yet impossible without the authority of the teacher.
Finally, the very meaning of authority in the fact that it does not require any evidence that it is accepted as the undoubted advantage of the older, his power and value, visible, so to speak, a simple children’s eye.
The father and mother in the eyes of the child should have this authority. We often hear the question: what to do with the child, if he does not listen? Here it is the “does not listen” is the sign that the parents in his eyes have no credibility.
Where does parental authority, how it is organized?
Those parents whose children “do not obey”, sometimes inclined to think that authority is given by nature that it takes a special talent. If no talent, can’t help it, we can only envy those who have such talent. These parents are mistaken. The authority can be arranged in every family, and it’s not even very difficult provided for the post by International Adoption research blogger and columnist.
Unfortunately, there are parents who organize such authority on false grounds. They strive to ensure that their children obey, it is their goal. But actually this is a mistake. Authority and obedience cannot be the goal. Goal can be only one: the right education. Only for this one purpose we should strive. Children’s obedience can be only one path to this goal. Those parents who are the real goals of education don’t think, achieve obedience for the obedience. If the children obedient, parents life is calmer. This is the most calm and is their real objective. In fact always work out that neither calm nor obedience is not stored for a long time. Credibility, built on false grounds, only for a very short time helps, soon everything is destroyed, there is no authority nor obedience. It also happens that the parents achieve obedience, but all other goals of education in pen: grow up, really obedient, but weak people.
There are many varieties of such false authority. We consider here more or less in detail a dozen of these varieties. I hope that after this review it will be easier to figure out what should be the real authority.
The authority of suppression. This is the worst kind of authority although not the most harmful. Most such authority of fathers suffer. If the father of the house always growling, always angry at every trifle dismayed thunder, at every convenient and inconvenient case grabs a stick or a belt, on each question is answered by rudeness, every fault of the child notes a punishment, it is the authority of suppression. Such paternal terror is terrorizing the family, not only children but also the mother. It is harmful not only because it intimidates the children, but also because it makes the mother zero essence ,which can only be a servant. No need to prove how harmful such authority. He did not educate, it only teaches children to stay away from scary daddy, it causes infant lies, and human cowardice, and at the same time, it educates the child cruelty. The clogged and weak-willed children come then or slushy, the worthless people, or tyrants, throughout his life for avenging a repressed childhood. This is the wildest sort of authority only happens in very uncultured parents and lately, thankfully, dying out.
The credibility of distance. There are fathers and mothers who seriously are convinced that children obey, we need less talk to them, be kept away, only occasionally to act as his superiors. Was particularly fond of this kind in some of the old intelligentsia families. Here very often the father of some separate office, from which he occasionally displayed, as the high priest. He eats separately, having fun separately, even the order entrusted to him the family he passes through the mother. There is such a mother: they have their own life, their interests, their thoughts. Children are run by grandmothers or even the housekeeper. Needless to say that such authority does not bring any benefit, and the family cannot reasonably be called an organized family.
The credibility of swagger. This is a special kind of authority range, but poilue, more harmful. Each person has their merits. But some people believe that they are the most honored, the most important figures, and show the importance of every step, and show to their children. Even at home, they strut and puff up more than the work they do is talking about their advantages, they are arrogant to other people. It happens very often that, astonished at this view of the father, beginning there to swagger and children. Before my friends, they too appear as nothing but boastful word, at each step repeating: my dad – the chief, my dad — a writer, my dad is the commander, my dad is a celebrity. In this atmosphere of arrogance important dad can not understand where are his children and whom he educates. Encountered such authority and mothers: some special dress, important knowledge, a trip to the resort – this all gives them a reason to swagger, to separate from other people and from their own children.
The credibility of pedantry. In this case, the parents pay more attention to children, more work but work as bureaucrats. They believe that children need every parent to listen to the word with trepidation that their word is sacred. His orders they give a cold tone, and once it is given, it immediately becomes law. Such parents fear most is the children will not think that dad made a mistake that daddy man is not solid. If you like this Papa said, “Tomorrow it will rain, shouldn’t walk”, then at least tomorrow and good weather, yet it is believed that walking is impossible. Dad did not like some the motion picture, he forbade the children to go to the movies, including good pictures. Dad punished child, then he discovered that the child was not so guilty as it seemed at first – the Pope will not cancel his punishment: once I said, as it should be. Every day enough for such a case the Pope, in every movement of the child he sees a violation of law and order and stick to it with new laws and regulations. The life of a child, his interests, his growth this Pope pass by unnoticed; he sees nothing but his bureaucratic commanding position in the family.
The authority of reasoning. In this case, the parents literally seize child’s life the endless homilies and edifying conversations. Instead of saying the child a few words, maybe even in a playful tone, the parent leans him against himself and starts boring and annoying speech. Such parents believe that teaching is the main pedagogical wisdom. In such a family is always a little joy and smiles. Parents are struggling to be virtuous, they want to the kids to be infallible. But they forget that children are not adults, that children have their own life and that this life should be respected. A child lives more emotionally, more passionately than an adult, it is least able to engage in reasoning. Habit of thinking comes to him gradually and slowly, and the constant ranting of the parents, their constant sudene and talkativeness are almost completely in their minds. In the even children can not see any authority.
The authority of love. This is the most common type of false authority. Many parents are convinced that children are listened to, loved, parents, and to deserve that love, you need every step of the way to show the children his parental love. A gentle word, endless kiss, affection, recognition showered on the children in absolutely excessive quantities. If the child does not obey, he immediately asked: “So you dad don’t like?” Parents jealously watching the expression of children’s eyes and need tenderness and love. Often the mother when the child tells friends: “He loves daddy and loves scary to me, he’s such a gentle child…”
This family is so immersed in a sea of sentimentality and tender feelings that already anything else does not notice. Unnoticed by the parents are many important details of family upbringing. The child must do for the love of the parents.
In this line many dangerous places. Here grows family selfishness. Children, of course, do not have the strength for such love. Very soon they notice that mom and dad everywhere you want to cheat, just need to do it with a gentle expression. Mom and dad can even bully, you only get cocky and show that love begins to take place. Since small years the child begins to understand that people can be podygryvanii. And since he cannot love as much and other people, we play along to them without any love, with a cold and cynical calculation. Sometimes it happens that the love of parents is saved for a long time, but all other people are seen as foreign and alien to him no sympathy, no sense of camaraderie.
This is a very dangerous view of authority. He grows insincere and deceitful egoists. And very often the first victims of this selfishness become parents themselves.
The authority of kindness. This is the most stupid kind of authority. In this case, the obedience of children is also provided through children’s love, but she invoked more than kisses and confidences, and pliability, softness and kindness of parents. Dad or mom speak to the child in the image of the good angel. They are allowed, they are not sorry, they are not stingy, they are wonderful parents. They are afraid of any conflicts, they prefer family world, they are ready to sacrifice anything, if only all was well. Very soon in such a family children just beginning to command the parents, parental resistance opens up the widest space for children’s wishes, whims, demands. Sometimes the parents can afford some resistance, but already late, the family had already formed a harmful experience.
The authority of friendship. Quite often even children were not born, and between the parents already have an agreement: our children will be our friends. In General it is a good thing. Father and son, mother and daughter can be friends and should be friends, but the parents are still older members of the family collective, and the children are still students. If a friendship reaches the far limits, raising stops or starts the opposite process: the kids start to educate parents. Such families have sometimes seen among the intelligentsia. In these families, the children call their parents Petka or Mary, mocking, roughly pluck, teach at every step, neither of which obedience cannot be and speeches. But there is no friendship, because no friendship is impossible without mutual respect. [5 p. 189-214]
What should be true of parental authority in the family?
The main justification for parental authority only and can be the life and work of parents, their civilians, their behavior. The family is a large and responsible business, run by parents and a responsibility to society, to their happiness and life before children. If the parents are doing this business honestly, reasonably, if they are significant and excellent goals if they always give a full account for their actions and deeds, it means that they have parental authority, and do not need to seek any other reason and especially not need to invent anything artificial.
As soon as children begin to grow up, they always ask where the father or mother, what is their social status. As early as possible they should learn what we live, how we want, with whom stand near their parents. His father or mother must speak to the child as a serious, respectable business. The merits of parents in the eyes of children must first and foremost be merit to the society, intrinsic value, and not just appearance.
Thus it is necessary to remember always that every human activity has its own voltage and dignity. In any case, parents should not introduce yourself to the children as Champions in their field, as an incomparable genius. Children need to see and the merits of other people, and definitely merits closest friends father and mother. Civil authority of parents get to this height, if it is not the authority upstarts or bouncer, and the authority member of the team. If you manage to bring up her son so that he would be proud of a whole plant where dad works, if it will please the success of this plant, then you raised him right.
But you are not a citizen. You are a father. And parental your case you have to perform as best as possible, and here is the root of your authority. And first of all you should know, than there lives, wondered what likes, what likes, what she wants and does not want your child. You should know with whom he is friends with who in what games plays, reads, and perceives as read. When he goes to school, you should know as it relates to the school and to the teachers, what are his difficulties, how he behaves in class. This is all you need to know always, from the very early age of your child. You no need to suddenly learn about a variety of troubles and conflicts, you have to anticipate and warn.
All you need to know, but this does not mean that you can chase your son’s constant and annoying questions, cheap and Intrusive spying. From the beginning you have to put the case that the children themselves also told you about his works that they wanted to tell you that they are interested in your knowledge. Sometimes you have to invite friends of the son, even to treat them with something, sometimes you have to visit the family, where have these comrades, you should have first opportunity to get acquainted with this family.
All this does not require much time for attention to children and to their lives.
And if you have such knowledge and such attention, it will not pass unnoticed for your children. Kids love this knowledge and respect their parents for it.
The authority of knowledge will lead to the authority aid. In the life of every child there are many cases when he doesn’t know what to do when he needs advice and help. Maybe he asks you for help, because I don’t know how to do that, you must come with.
Often this assistance can be provided direct to the Council, sometimes in jest, sometimes in order, sometimes even in the order. If you know your child’s life, you will see how to proceed in the best way. Often, this assistance needs to be provided in a special way. Need is either to take part in the children’s game, or meet comrades of children, or to visit the school and talk with the teacher. If your family several children, and this is the happiest case, to the fact such assistance can be attracted by older brothers and sisters.
Parental assistance should not be Intrusive, annoying, tiresome. In some cases it is absolutely necessary to provide the child out of the shitter, he needs to get used to overcome obstacles and resolve more complex issues. But it is necessary to see how the child performs this operation cannot be allowed to he lost his way and fell into despair. Sometimes even necessary that the child saw your alertness, attention and confidence in his forces.
Authority assistance, careful and attentive management will happily supplemented by the authority of knowledge. The child will feel your presence next to him, your reasonable care, your insurance, but at the same time, he will know that you something require you to and not going to do everything for him, to take his responsibility.
It is the line of responsibility is the next important line of parental authority. In any case, the child should not think that your leadership of the family and they have your pleasure or entertainment. He should know that you are responsible not only for ourselves but for him to society. Do not be afraid to openly and firmly say to the son or daughter that they brought up that they need to have a lot to learn that they should grow up to be good citizens and good people that parents are responsible for achieving this goal that they are not afraid of this responsibility. In this line of responsibility lie the beginning of not only assistance but also demands. In some cases, this requirement must be expressed in the most severe form which is not supposing objections. By the way, I must say that such a requirement only and can be done with advantage, if the authority is liable has already been created in the view of the child. Even in the very small age he should feel that his parents do not live together with him on a desert island. [6 p. 53]
The authority will need. It is necessary to distinguish true authority from false authority, based on artificial principles and seeking to create obedience by any means.

3 thoughts on “To prove parental authority permanent link

  1. The concept of “Call and Response” was formed by the historian and philosopher Arnold Toynbee regarding the Genesis of civilizations. He came to the conclusion that the cause of development lies in the combination of several factors and appropriate reactions to them. The “external factors”, A. Toynbee, is to make “inner creative impulse” in the stimulus for promoting the realization of potential of creative variations. “The challenge spurs growth. Our response to the challenges society is confronted with facing the problem, what translates itself in a higher and more perfect from the point of view of complexity of the structure of the state. No calls means no incentives for growth and development” [Toynbee, 2001, p. 126].

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  2. it is Proposed the concept of the adolescent period, aimed at civilizational system of “Challenges and Responses” by A. Toynbee. Natural “challenges” to figure “challenge boundaries” and “challenge form”, “response” is “response identity” that leads to “settle” the definition of a suitable picture of the world and the organization of the unique Ego structure.

    Keywords: adolescents, A. Toynbee, is the dominant principle, socialization, self-identification, developmental psychology, developmental psychology, subcultures, initiation, reincorporate, psychoanalysis, analytical psychology, inner dialogue.

    We suggest the concept of adolescence and youth, oriented on the system of civilizational challenges and answers of Arnold J. Toynbee. Natural challenges are “challenge of borders” and “challenge of form”, the answer is “process of self-identification”, which is lead to the “resolution” is a convenient worldview of forming and organization of unique ego-structure.

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  3. Active development of the personality, development of basic qualities occurs in the school years, and largely depends on the social atmosphere, which member is the child. Of particular importance in this sense (of personality) is primary school age, hence the urgency of developing problems of formation of psychological climate in the elementary grades.
    Psychological climate is an integral characteristic of a group of children and can be defined as a phenomenon, represents a dynamic field of relationships within which it develops group activities and which determines the health of a person, the measure of existence of personal selves.
    Stable psychological climate is composed of smaller components – psychological atmospheres or temporary emotional States class due to the implementation or preparation of specific cases.
    The dominant emotions experienced by the child in a favorable psychological climate are:
    goodwill,
    security,
    mobility,
    creativity,
    optimism
    the initiative,
    performance, freedom “I”.

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